The changes in disciplining children
When one child has to be told once, another may need this process repeated 3 times until he calms down. Say YES.
Child discipline in the 1950s
However, occasionally, a parent may become so frustrated with the child that he or she needs a period of separation from the child. Inappropriate forms of discipline should be identified and corrected. Reinforce good behavior. Remember that every interaction is an opportunity for either connection -- or disconnection. Change the scene — prevent the misbehavior from being repeated Prevention is better than cure. Remember to pick your choices carefully though, because once a choice is offered, and your child picks one, you need to honor it. This is particularly important when dealing with controversial issues such as disciplinary spanking. Physical redirection or restraint to support time-out or to prevent a child from harming himself or others may be necessary, but should be done carefully and without violence. Using harsh punishment to fear-condition kids is ineffective at best and harmful at worst. After making a bunch of mistakes and feeling perpetually like a crappy parent, one day she had the epiphany that Great Parents are Made, Not Born. If possible, give a choice or a redirection about what the child CAN do to meet her needs or solve her problem. Decide on family rules A good place to start is with family rules. Your toddler might sometimes do something to get a reaction — for example, throwing food or having a tantrum. Every child is different.
Accidentally spilling a glass of water is normal behaviour for a toddler. The over-protective control freak part of me steps in way before my daughter gets to face any natural consequences.
It may work for you, it may not. Locke encouraged 17th-century parents to have children learn about consequences naturally, so that self-control and a desire to be accountable for their own actions is a by-product of guidance, not harsh discipline.
Child discipline then and now
However, occasionally, a parent may become so frustrated with the child that he or she needs a period of separation from the child. It is not willful defiance. Our childhood has so much influence on the adults we become. Areas of particular importance are those known to be problematic: feeding, toilet training and bedtime struggles. The time-out strategy is effective because it keeps the child from receiving attention that may inadvertently reinforce inappropriate behaviour. Remove the child from the place of misbehaviour. Early toddlers are very susceptible to fears of abandonment and should not be kept in time-out away from the parent. Ugh, no. There is a great deal of controversy about the appropriate ways to discipline children, and parents are often confused about effective ways to set limits and instill self-control in their child. That's not really surprising. But why take the risk, when there are better ways to discipline?
The schedule helps regulate autonomic functions and provides a sense of predictability and safety. Our Toddlers Behaviour Toolkit takes you through different discipline strategies you can use with your toddler.
For example, if you want your child to sit down to eat, sitting down together to eat family meals can help children learn this behaviour. It makes the child angry and defensive.
Too much harsh, negative discipline, and not enough praise and rewards, might get children behaving well, but out of fear.
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